Sixteen

Today at lunch, I had a really deep conversation with Bec. We were discussing life, and the universe, and that seeing as the universe goes on forever, there's bound to be another planet exactly the same as ours, but we'll never know. She told me about how she hopes that when she dies, she can watch her life as a film on a tv set in heaven, and how she hopes that she can be taken into a little room and watch what everyone has ever said about her, or thought about her. She told me about how she wonders about life all the time, and comes up with these odd theories, such as the possibility that I might not even be real. I could be a fragment of her imagination, or the other way around. I could be imagining this whole world; I always did have too much creativity in me. She told me how she wonders if she was ever one of our group of friends in a past life, and if she's just living the same cycle of events over and over again from different people's perspectives. She said that she could be working her way around everyone in the world, saying that in her next life, she could be Georgina, witnessing this conversation from across the room, instead of talking in it. She posed the theory: what if this is just one massive long dream, and when we die in this life, we wake up from the dream and have to go and be someone completely different. What if, like in Men In Black, our whole universe is just a marble in another world, that a child is playing with.
It freaked me out, and  got me thinking about things a lot differently. If I really am imagining this world, then I've done a terrible job. There's so much evil and suffering, it worries me.

On a lighter note, quote of the day:
Bec Yemm: "What if I'm Mr Penford in my next life? I could look at myself naked,"

I had OCR today. I planned my video because I'm 'cool.' I had business too and did a powerpoint, then in science I was ready to strangle Kirsty, and in English I was just unhappy. I'm bored of reading Lord Of The Flies. srsly.

Notice how my day summary's are becoming shorter and shorter. That's because life at the moment has become a never ending routine of get up, get ready, go to school, do homework, shower and bed. I'm waiting for the time when something good happens, because at the moment, I'm wasting my hours in school. I know it will all benefit me in the end, but I'm trying not to think about what's next. All I've ever done is school, so in May when I leave, I'll be lost. I'll have no idea what to do with myself. It's all a bit scary.

I'm having a depressed evening tonight. Even the weather is encouraging me, with the first thunder storm of Autumn. Yay.